The Reality of Motherhood: Guilt and Gratitude

They say motherhood is the most beautiful experience of unconditional love you'll ever have. And sure, it’s filled with heartwarming cuddles and those adorable gurgles that melt your heart. But let's be real: it can also feel like you’re navigating a minefield in a blindfold. In a world where women often question their worth, knowing you’re irreplaceable to your little ones is supposed to be comforting. Yet, for many of us, motherhood can feel more like a rollercoaster ride where the safety bar is a little too loose.

Here’s the thing: two thoughts can be true at the same time. You can love your kids to pieces and still fantasize about a vacation or question what you were thinking with such a small age gap. You can adore your partner while secretly envying their uninterrupted bathroom breaks or the fact that the kids don’t act out the same way when their alone with you. Loving being a mom doesn't mean you have to enjoy the merry-go-round of laundry, meal prep, and deciphering toddler gibberish. You can still be grateful for your life while also admitting that, sometimes, it’s hard and about as glamorous as a pair of mismatched socks.

I know how easy it can be to get stuck in the suck, the long and winding road of guilt and shame can be real at times. So let me share a suggestion my therapist gave me. When a big emotion pops up, name it, take a deep breath, and count to five. At first, I thought, "Great, now I’m counting, I was hoping for the on/off switch for my emotions". But then it clicked. I was interrupting the thought-feeling-action cycle. "I'm noticing that I feel guilty right now," "I'm noticing that I'm really frustrated," "I'm noticing I'm getting angry." Just a few words, a deep breath, and a five-second pause can do wonders, like a factory reset if you will. No overthinking, just acknowledgment and onward march.

It's pretty similar to something I learned way back when I tried yoga and meditation for the first time. It’s not about turning off your mind but deciding what to do with those persistent thoughts. Imagine each thought in a bubble and watch it float away. I use this when I catch a thought before it swells into a full-blown emotion (-al meltdown). Like when I scrutinize my post-kid body in the mirror and think, "Whoa, this outfit isn’t doing me any favors." I pause, visualize the bubble, and let it drift away. Sometimes it takes a whole parade of bubbles, but eventually, I’m off doing something else besides critiquing my reflection. Of course, it would be magical if negative thoughts and big emotions took a permanent vacation, but they’re here to stay. And that's okay.

So, here’s the takeaway: embrace the chaos, the giggles, and even the mess. Each moment, big or small, contributes to the incredible journey you’re on. Don't forget to breathe and count to five because

you're doing better than you think, and every step, however wobbly, is a testament to your strength. If you think it's hard it means you're doing something right.

Keep moving forward, and remember, you've got this. If you want to take action and turn that guilt into gratitude check out my free gratitude Journal Template.

Gratitude Journal Template.pdf

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